Virtuous Daughters

The Beginning of My “Quest for Answers”

At this point I basically threw away everything I had ever thought about life in general and especially my life specifically, and tried as much as possible to come to Yahweh with an empty slate and an open mind, looking to Him for the answers I so desperately needed.  I needed to know what my life-purpose was, what Yahweh’s will was for my life, what He wanted me doing with my life, how He wanted to use my life, what He wanted to accomplish through my life, etc.

I asked my dad how one was to find their life purpose and he told me that although there are certain purposes Yahweh gave to all mankind in general (which are written in His word), when He gives us our personal life-purposes, He doesn’t give it to John Doe or Mrs. Smith down the street, and He doesn’t even necessarily give it to our dad’s. He said that to find our personal life’s purpose we need to go to Yahweh in prayer, and prayerfully study His word.

I wasn’t overly happy about his answer, because I was hoping he would hand me the answers I was looking for in a complete, ready-to-serve package. I didn’t like having to wait (waiting is HARD, especially after Yahweh had so impressed on my heart how much time I had already wasted, and I was so anxious to stop wasting my life and start making it count). But, since the only way I was going to find the answers I needed was through prayer and searching, pray and search I did.

One of the first things I did (besides pray, pray, and pray!) was go through the ‘Life Purpose Planning Workbook’ (lifepurposeplanning.org). This helped me to organize my thoughts, dreams, passions, etc. and also help me to see Yahweh’s hand already at work in my life. (As the book said, Yahweh isn’t waiting for us to realize our life purpose to start working in our lives – He has been working in them even before we were born - we just haven’t necessarily been aware of it.) As I was going through it I would detour when Yahweh would bring something else to mind (like listing any dreams I’ve ever had, both past and present, what they all had in common, why I dreamed of doing them, etc). I wrote all my answers in a spiral notebook instead of in the actual book, which was helpful because it allowed me to use the book as a guide without forcing me to follow it exactly. For example, if they asked a question that I didn’t really understand (or one that was worded in such a way that it didn’t really fit me), but sparked a question in my mind, I could write that down, instead of necessarily answering their question.

Throughout this whole “quest for answers” I tried to be open and flexible to Yahweh’s leading, and slow to jump on or accept any ideas or possibilities, because I wanted to be sure that it was Yahweh’s leading and not my emotions or my anxiousness to find the answers and “get started” living my life.

Quite a few times during this time, Yahweh would give me a piece of the puzzle, and I had to hold myself in check realizing it was a piece of His answer, not His final answer. A few times when I heard or read something, Yahweh would impress on my heart that it held at least a part of an answer, although I wasn’t able to put my finger on exactly what it was. So, I would study whatever it was that held the “answer”, praying that Yahweh would show me what it was, and then trust Him to help me understand it in His time. Sometimes He would help me to understand it right away, and other times I wouldn’t understand it until later when He would give me the other piece(s) to the puzzle. But either way, I knew that everything was in Yahweh’s hands, and He would help me to understand what I needed to in His time (I just needed to pay attention to whatever He was trying to tell me (whether I understood it or not), so I was ready to understand when that time came).

Most of all through this time I prayed, prayed, prayed, and prayed (did I tell you I prayed?J). Yahweh is the only One who knows what our futures hold, what He created us to do, and what he wants us to live for and do. He is the only One who really knows how we can please Him and bring Him the most glory.  He is the only One with the answers, so if we want the answers (or at least want the right answers) we must go to Yahweh. Every time I would come across a possibility, or someone would suggest a possibility, I would go to Yahweh with an open ear, and ask Him if that was what He wanted. Yahweh’s ways are best, so if we want the best in our lives we must go to Him, and find out what His will is.